“MAKE YOUR HOME & COMMUNITY AN UNFRIENDLY ENVIRONMENT TO DRUG USE AND DRUG ACTIVITY” (M.M.)
RECOVERY CORNER:
WHAT DOES ADDICTION LOOK LIKE??
By Mary Marcuccio, Guest Columnist St. Cloud in the News 9/18/2019 (article 1 of 2)
INSANITY. Doing the same thing, expecting a different result.
I believe addiction is the epitome of repetition. The very lived, breathed definition of insanity. A recent event in my life brought this point home.
You know, they say that God works in mysterious ways. That is not true at all. I think He’s very transparent. For those who are willing to hear the voice, it’s very clear. I have what I call my God voice, I’ve been hearing it most of my adult life. It’s gotten stronger as I’ve gotten older. I will pray, and then very clearly hear in my head to do/not do something. I’ve learned to listen. That’s how this story starts.
Driving home from work on August 30, late afternoon, I was praying for guidance about my son’s situation. I wanted to go to the dollar store, pick up some things for the impending hurricane then hit the lakefront for my daily walk. The voice was so loud, go to the lakefront. “Ok, Ok…!” Not only that, but I was instructed, as I call it, to walk at the first pier, which I rarely do. So, I parked and started my journey. As I was walking, I saw a couple that was clearly in distress. Years of personal and professional experience, I knew they were drug users. I said to myself, “You don’t need this Mary, keep walking. You don’t need anybody else’s problems.”
She was sitting on the ground, crying, all alone. She couldn’t have weighed more than 90lbs, size 2. No thought at all… I dropped to my knees, “Hey honey, what’s going on? You’re not ok.” As we talked, her boyfriend came back and I introduced myself. As expected, I confirmed active drug use, homeless, hungry, no insurance and estranged from family.
I offered Nancy and Joe, whose names have been changed for privacy, the one thing I HAVE – treatment. They said YES! Perfect strangers, but I’ve known these faces for almost 20 years. What is the expression – evil persists when good men do nothing. Doing nothing for me is almost never an option. So, we sat in my car and I made tons of calls to business associates saying you HAVE to find me two detox beds, scholarships. For readers who don’t know what that means… about $10,000 worth of coverage, for FREE! Waiting for RSVP’s, I drove to a couple of stores and got some food for them. It was 7pm, time for me to head home…still no resources for treatment. So, I was driving with this couple, praying silently, telling God – you brought us here, now fix it! God is probably the only one who knows that my heart would never allow me to put these two broken people back on a lakeshore and just go home with a hurricane around the corner!
So, my decision was made, motel for the night and give God a chance to do His thing. First motel, full. Second motel, full. Still praying, I hear my God voice repeating the name of a specific motel nearby. Man proposes; God disposes. “OK, OK…!!” Pull into that parking lot, who do I see – a business associate named Vance Johnson (any football fans here – yup! HIM). He’s working with a local treatment facility, and I looked up and silently said to God – Wow, you got this! I left Vance with the couple to talk; went inside, whipped out my credit card, booked a room for 1 night, with a prayer for treatment options for the morning. We all prayed, standing in that parking lot. They settled in; I went home praying, knowing we needed the big guns.
At home, I texted the CEO of The Blackberry Center (I used to work with him), explained that ALL options were exhausted – John, you’re the man for this job. “Yes” was his response. MY ANGEL.
The next morning, I went to the motel and gathered the couple. As is ALWAYS expected with drug addiction, reason had departed, and the monster of addiction had returned. At one quick stop before getting to the facility, Nancy went completely sideways, not agreeing to go – yelling, hollering, arguing with Joe. I looked in his eyes, I saw the battle – GO? STAY? I said “Joe, I need a decision. What’s it gonna be?” With tears in his eyes, he said “I can’t leave her, I love her.” I wished him the best, left. It’s my understanding that they are still homeless and drug involved in the area.
Who does that? Who says no to FREE safe housing, food, medications – a chance at life? The monster of addiction, that’s who. New day. Same choices. Insanity.
For those of us who are sober, with no drug history, it’s almost impossible to understand the insanity of addiction. And we don’t have to. These broken persons, we pray will change when they’re done, ready to change. We can’t fix them, but we sure can pray for them! Maybe one day Joe will call…
Four angels were put in my path that Friday and Saturday. Angels come in all shapes and sizes – drug users, athletes, businessmen. *Halos Not Required*
If you have an issue with substance abuse, or are the family member of a loved one abusing drugs/alcohol, please contact me for support and treatment options, email: marysbottomline@gmail.com
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RECOVERY CORNER:
VOICES AND CHOICES
By Mary Marcuccio, Guest Columnist St. Cloud in the News 10/16/2019 (article 2 of 2)
Last month, I shared a story with readers about a close encounter with addiction and what that looked like. INSANITY. Repeating the same behaviors, expecting a different result.
Story #2. For readers following this series, I shared in June that my son, Matt, was getting out of prison in Connecticut, expected to be late summer. Well, August 19 hit like a train. My ex-husband Pete, Matt’s dad, picked him up outside the jail, they grabbed a bite to eat, and Matt started what Matt always does – trying to make the bad feelings go away. He got a bunch of medications from a hospital that afternoon and took them all. The rest of the week, more doctors, more meds and drinking. He’s saying to me on the phone, “I don’t want this life anymore Mom” – as he’s taking half bottle of pills.
On August 25, I awoke to a text from Pete – Matt overdosed, I found him on the floor unresponsive; he’s in the hospital. We discovered that Matt had attempted suicide via heroin overdose – for the umpteenth time in his life. He was in the psych ward until August 30. Pete picked him up and brought him back to his house, despite my request that Pete require at least rehab. They’ve been struggling since then. Pete is sad, worried, angry, forlorn – and Matt is “trying to be good Mom.”
Here’s what trying to be good looks like to my addicted son.
9/4 – intentional suicidal overdose at a friend’s house, friend hit him with Narcan; he lives
9/12 – intentional suicidal overdose behind a dumpster near a vacant building in Hartford, CT., friend with him freaks out and calls 911, police/EMT’s, Narcan, hospital; he lives
9/16 – accidental overdose on a side street in Hartford, found by passerby, calls 911, police/EMT’s, hospital; he lives
New days. Same choices. INSANITY.
Do you know that Matt was VERY angry when he woke up from overdose #1, #2, #3… He had called me from the hospital after OD #1 and, knowing that this had been a suicidal plan (been there, done this for years) my first words to him were “hey honey… so you woke up” to which he said quietly and with a mixture of sadness and anger in his voice, “yea, I can’t even do that right. I keep F****** waking up.” Overdose #4, according to Matt – “Mom, I wasn’t trying to kill myself. I was just trying to get high. I didn’t think I did that much.”
I’ve offered my son help; he still chooses not to take it. Recent phone call from Matt: “If I hear you say rehab 1 more time, I’m hanging up, will never talk to you again.” He still hears the voice of addiction louder than any other. He has chosen not to hear his God voice… yet. I have a very dear friend, sober 33 years, who is prone to say that “my disease has one job – separate me from everyone and everything that could stop it.” At support group meetings, he shares with families of addicts that “my disease isn’t trying to HURT you; it’s trying to HELP me – forget, be numb, not feel…” Instead of going into a psych hospital or rehab, Matt left his dad’s house on 9/24 headed to Massachusetts with a girl he met online a few days earlier! Matt has carried his addiction with him; his life partner.
As I pointed out in the previous article, the couple I engaged with recently had two choices: Continue using drugs, being homeless, hungry, estranged from family; survive a hurricane outdoors OR Go to a FREE detox/rehab, BE SAFE, get medication, eat well, clean clothes/shower…NEW CHANCE!
They chose the voice of addiction. The “bad” one, as it were. It was louder, stronger, more powerful than their God voice. They made a choice of which to hear, and addiction continues. For addicts, life is to be endured while trying to get high/drunk. It doesn’t make sense to those of us who are sober with no drug history. As I’ve said before, we don’t have to understand; we have to LOVE. We don’t have to agree, we don’t have to support their poor choices, we SHOULDN’T enable. But we must LOVE.
I was working at the treatment center in Orlando on Monday 9/23, where I do family coaching. Once a month I share my story with the clients themselves; it’s usually a very engaging and emotional experience for all of us. A month ago, I told my story to a group of clients; have been getting much positive feedback from them since. On that Monday, a client – Suzie, a beautiful, young woman in her mid-20’s, took me aside and told me that, that very morning she had “had it/gotta leave,” was planning to leave rehab and go use (heroin). She said that she heard my voice in her head, having recently related to my story…that she remembered the pain I shared…that my words sounded like her mom’s. She went to her therapist, they called her mom, together they discussed leaving/staying. She decided to stay! She told me this because she wanted me to know that as hard as it is for me to talk about Matt, my sharing gave her a new voice to hear!
In wisdom that has come with age, I understand that we ALWAYS have choices – I refer to them as voices; the good and the bad, light and dark. Our addicts hear voices – the call of addiction vs. their God voice. It’s like two warring creatures; the side that wins is the one that gets fed the most. Our prayer should be, as with Suzie, that the day comes when our addict’s God voice is stronger than that of addiction.
If you have an issue with substance abuse, or are the family member of a loved one abusing drugs/alcohol, please contact me for support and treatment options, email: marysbottomline@gmail.com
Recovery Corner:
Red Letter Days
By Guest Columnist, Mary Marcuccio
This article was originally written and featured on scinthenews.com June, 2019
This time last year, I had shared with readers some stories about my son Matt, his history of addiction and the pain that a family suffers because of it.
I’m writing this on Sunday morning, May 26, facing Tuesday, May 28 – my son’s 30th birthday. He is still in prison in Connecticut, finishing a sentence from his last set of arrests/convictions. Tuesday hangs like a heavy weight on my heart. Another life marker spent in prison/rehab/homeless – it’s consistently been one or the other for the better part of the last 15 years.
Life markers hurt. What other people revel in – birthdays, anniversaries, holidays – I dread. I wake up on those days, having years of experience designing busyness to keep my mind and heart occupied. My go-to is major housecleaning. And God bless work…it allows me the most effective escape. Thankfully I have an insanely busy workday on Tuesday; funny how all the important meetings this coming week HAPPEN to be set for the 28th. I truly didn’t do it consciously. Freud would be proud of my deliberate accidental sub-conscious planning.
I’m not alone in my pain. I have so many people in my life – clients, friends, business associates – who live my “no markers” life. We have learned to avoid these special days in order to survive. Because we are pretending to live, without our hearts, without the person – that wonderful/terrible broken person – who has been kidnapped by addiction and held… in the abyss.
We started this series last year, “RECOVERY CORNER.” In one of those articles, I referred to the TAKING that addiction profusely provides. Seemingly unending. Let’s add this particular pain to the list– the families of addicts have 365 equal days, “black letter days” let’s call them. We’ll let the rest of the world remember, recall and commemorate their “red letter days.”
Do I dream!? Yes, I do…that someday, some little square on my desk calendar (yes, I keep a REAL paper calendar) will be red lettered/highlighted/lots of stars ***** – Matt is sober, safe, mentally sound. That’s about as beautiful as an example of hope that I could ever give. HOPE – “A feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.”
Matt gets out of prison likely the end of July. Beginning of the end… or a new beginning… time will tell. I will continue to love my son and hate addiction, both every day. And I will continue to hope, AND PRAY, that he will find his way out…of the abyss.
I woke this morning with this article writing itself in my head, before I even left the bed. By the time you see this, Tuesday will be done and gone. I will update readers very soon about how my Tuesday went. And what does the end of July look like….!!?? I am so very thankful for these opportunities to share with readers, many of whom are suffering a loved one’s addiction as well. These writings are very cathartic for me, and my HOPE is that by sharing, I can touch another who needs to be touched – to know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. “LET YOUR FAITH BE BIGGER THAN YOUR FEAR”
Recovery Corner:
What IS substance abuse?
By Guest Columnist, Mary Marcuccio St. Cloud in the News 5/2/18 (article 1 of 2)
The official definition: “overindulgence in or dependence on an addictive substance, especially alcohol or drugs.” OK… but WHO becomes a drug addict? An alcoholic? …
In a previous article I shared that my son’s been using drugs since adolescence. He found heroin at 15… And our lives have never been the same.
My son gave me some of my greatest understandings of addiction back when he was 17. He’d been arrested, once again, but in jail for the first time. A juvenile jail. Make no mistake…it FEELS and LOOKS the same as “grown up” jail – brick building, guards at the door with guns, big gray sliding prison doors that clang behind you, visitation room with me on one side of scratched, filthy plexiglass, him on the other. I was doing my mother’s heart of crying and drama, “Why are you doing this? You’re destroying your life…our life…your future… Please why can’t you just stop using drugs!!??” At 17 years old, in a gray jumpsuit, talking through the glass on a jail phone, he said “Mom, you just don’t understand. Heroin is like nothing I’ve ever done. When I’m high, everything is ok. I don’t worry, I don’t have any pain. NONE OF THE BAD GETS IN. I feel…normal. IF I COULD STAY HIGH, I‘D STAY IN HERE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.” Can you imagine…17 years old…willing to stay in prison FOREVER if he could have heroin?? No life. No friends. No girlfriend. No kids. No home. No job. No…NOTHING. And he meant it. Heroin has been his life-partner, so to speak, ever since. 12 years. I call heroin addiction the Living Hell, because he can’t LIVE with it, and he WON’T live without it.
I share this story as a cautionary tale. To the folks reading that think “NOT MY KID” — he/she could never…would never… Drugs are an equal opportunity kidnapper. They are color-blind. Not the least bit prejudice. With one goal… CAPTURE. Nobody wakes up one day at 14…18…25…and says “I’m gonna be a drug addict, have no life, destroy my family, give mom a heart attack, dad a stroke, live in prison, get HIV…” Once captured, the human being and their world suffer greatly.
To answer the question – Who becomes a drug addict? An alcoholic?… ANYONE. Because substance abuse isn’t a mark of character, it’s not about good people or bad people. Our goal, as parents/ families/ community/ professionals – is to PREVENT THE CAPTURE.
Get educated about substance abuse/learn what to watch for: What are signs of pot, coke, pills, meth, heroin, etc.???
Be proactive in your own home/family: Be the PARENT, not the FRIEND… SET rules/boundaries.
When you have concerns, GET HELP: Doing nothing /Denial is our greatest enemy in this fight.
The sooner we become aware and educated, the greater chance of aiding a loved one to get help.
Here are some more RED FLAGS for opiate addiction – things to watch for, be it prescription pain pills or heroin:
-Spoons will be missing, unexplained from the kitchen, or appear blackened/burnt on the underside
-User will have “cotton mouth” – speech is impaired and/or slurred, user constantly licks his lips and lips appear dysfunctional
-Opiate users will often wear sunglasses inappropriately – inside, nighttime, days which obviously do not warrant their wearing
-Appetite decreases drastically; opiate use becomes all consuming; the user progressively loses all interest in eating and drinking; YET, user may often have water on hand– multiple bottles and glasses, often partially full
-Weight will usually decrease immediately and drastically shortly after the onset of opiate use
-Watch for evidence of constipation (opiate side effect) – laxatives, enemas, etc.
For assistance or resources – Mary Marcuccio, marysbottomline@gmail.com
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Recovery Corner:
The Unseen Cost of Addiction
By Guest Columnist, Mary Marcuccio
This article was originally written and featured on scinthenews.com 6/21/18 (article 2 of 2)
Last month I shared with readers a story about my 17-year-old son in prison back in 2006. I cried the entire time writing that. The reliving brought back all the pain, ripped off the band-aid, so to speak, that I firmly place on all memories of my past. Here we are again… computer and Kleenex. Back in 2006, I had some hope, although guarded, that in time my son would find his way out of drugs. Move forward 12 years.
I just got back from a trip to CT, for a funeral and to visit my son in prison. Yet again. He’s doing 9-18 months on old drug charges. He turned 29 two weeks ago. Drug abusing history of 17 years, 14 of those as a junkie (to those who may want to be offended… please don’t… iv heroin users ARE junkies).
I HATE TO FLY. It’s my kryptonite. I am a strong, capable, competent, woman who can manage crises like most people eat dinner. Put me on an airplane…and I’ve got a white-knuckle hold on the seat in front, chanting prayers to any God that will listen, and swearing on Grandma’s grave I will NEVER do this again! Did the plane…to get to CT…to visit my son in prison…suffering a greatest fear – FLIGHT – for the sole purpose of delivering the most devastating news my son will likely ever hear. My mom died recently, his grandmother, HIS PERSON. The one human being on this planet that he loved, as much as he can understand love. I needed to face him to tell him.
With my heart dragging on the ground, I entered the prison visitation room, once again me on one side of dirty scratched plexi-glass, Matt on the other. I made as much small talk as possible for 20 minutes, then took a breath – “Matt, honey, I have very sad news to share with you…” His tears were instantaneous, before I said the words…he knew. The next 40 minutes were as bad as I expected. I dropped the Hiroshima bomb. No survivors.
Why am I sharing this with you??? Because my son, Louise’s grandson, SHOULD have been at her funeral, memorial service, family dinner … mourning/grieving/remembering/celebrating her life. NOT in a beige jumpsuit, handcuffs and leg irons, 9×9 concrete cell, with no ability to grieve or mourn. For those readers who aren’t aware, CRYING IN PRISON ISN’T COOL.
My heartache these past days has been almost too much to bear. To have to drop this bomb, and then watch the devastation it caused my son… the sober human… NOT the monster addict. I have now come to see yet another something that addiction steals — even the privilege to grieve. To mourn. THE TAKING NEVER ENDS.
In the momentous words of the beloved and departed actor, Carroll O’Connor (Archie Bunker) – “GET BETWEEN YOUR KIDS AND DRUGS, ANY WAY YOU CAN”.
Below is a poem about drugs, by an anonymous author, very widely used by substance abuse professionals. I think this is the time for me to share it with you.
DRUGS – A POEM
I destroy homes, tear families apart, take your children, and that’s just the start. I’m more costly than diamonds, more costly than gold; the sorrow I bring is a sight to behold. And if you need me, remember I’m easily found; I live all around you, in schools and in town. I live with the rich, I live with the poor; I live down the street, and maybe next door. My power is awesome; try me — you’ll see; but if you do, you may never break free. Just try me once and I might let you go, but try me twice, and I’ll own your soul. When I possess you, you’ll steal and you’ll lie. You do what you have to just to get high. The crimes you’ll commit, for my narcotic charms, will be worth the pleasure you’ll feel in your arms. You’ll lie to your mother, you’ll steal from your dad; When you see their tears, you should feel sad. But you’ll forget your morals and how you were raised, I’ll be your conscience, I’ll teach you my ways. I take kids from parents, and parents from kids; I turn people from God, and separate from friends. I’ll take everything from you, your looks and your pride; I’ll be with you always, right by your side. You’ll give up everything, your family, your home, your friends, your money, then you’ll be alone. I’ll take and take, till you have nothing more to give; When I’m finished with you, you’ll be lucky to live. If you try me– be warned– this is no game; If given the chance, I’ll drive you insane. I’ll ravish your body, I’ll control your mind; I’ll own you completely, your soul will be mine. The nightmares I’ll give you while lying in bed, the voices you’ll hear from inside your head; the sweats, the shakes, the visions you’ll see– I want you to know, these are all gifts from me. But then it’s too late, and you’ll know in your heart, that you are mine, and we shall not part. You’ll regret that you tried me, they always do, but you came to me, not I to you. You knew this would happen; Many times, you were told– but you challenged my power, and chose to be bold. You could have said no, and just walked away; If you could live that day over, now what would you say? I’ll be your master; you will be my slave; I’ll even go with you, when you go to your grave. Now that you have met me, what will you do? Will you try me or not? It’s all up to you. I can bring you more misery than words can tell; Come take my hand, let me lead you to hell…… (Author Unknown)
For assistance or resources – Mary Marcuccio, marysbottomline@gmail.com
RECOVERY CORNER
By Guest Columnist, Mary Marcuccio
Below is a portion of an article, originally written and featured on scinthenews.com 4/5/18
Why should you read this article?? Because chances are that you, the reader, have someone in your life that is using drugs or alcohol and you don’t know it…. YET. And if you DO know it…. what to do??
My name is Mary Marcuccio, I live in St. Cloud. I am a substance abuse professional. And I AM YOU. I was the mom who had a 12-year-old son smoking pot who became the 14-year-old snorting pain pills. We dove in head first, trying to stop him…change his path. Despite our exhaustive efforts, he graduated to shooting heroin at 15. This discovery collapsed me onto the kitchen floor, in a full-blown asthma event. Once the tears stopped and I could breathe, I decided to …. ATTACK. “THIS STOPS RIGHT NOW!!” … I screamed at no one in the room. In all my infinite ignorance I actually believed I had that power. 13 years later, my son is still a raging drug addict and alcoholic, despite every effort as parents to interfere/intervene/fix/change. We’ve suffered almost every possible conceivable hurt/pain/trauma/tragedy that CAN be suffered by the family of the addict. Ask me about my son’s recent capture and torture at the hands of unscrupulous bondsmen… and I will fall into a flow of tears. Professional or not, the heartache lives. I’ve learned to manage it.
I have been sleeping much better for the past few weeks because my son is back in prison AND I KNOW HE’S SAFE. Safe is relative, to be sure; but for my family, RIGHT NOW, prison will keep him alive and with God’s good grace and my prayers, maybe THIS TIME he will … WANT to change, BE willing to change, HAVE ENOUGH PAIN to change.
I hope to be sharing more of my family’s story in future articles. For now, let’s discuss how my average day goes? I am the mother of a drug addict/alcoholic while being a professional with a job and many responsibilities … I get up (some days are harder than others), shower, dress, do my hair, put on makeup, pack my bag and spend my day helping other ME’s to find their BOTTOM LINE … their “how to be ok with what I’m NOT ok with.” Who better than me to guide another mother, father, wife, uncle, best friend … how to do US?! THE SECRET: IT’S ALL ABOUT PERSPECTIVE. COPING SKILLS.
Essentially, I address 2 readers: You’re the wife of the alcoholic, the grandfather of the junkie – and you’re so filled with hurt, pain and anger that you just cry because you’re so lost. You haven’t reached out for help because you haven’t got the strength. Or you’re the reader who THINKS you don’t have any drug problems in YOUR family – so why do you need to read this?
Reader #1: THE ME’S: You spend years … decades … Enabling. Crying. Begging. Pleading. Truly believe that you’re all alone … PLEASE STOP. REACH OUT.
*I host a FREE educational forum weekly, for family support, at a local substance abuse treatment center; COME! (please call me for details)
*You can call/email me for support and resources.
*My website has a list of resources for treatment for your addict.
*Please see the extensive resource list at the end of this article, for YOU. PLEASE REACH OUT … YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Reader #2: “THE NOT – ME’s”: That’s what I call people who don’t have or THINK they don’t have “drug issues” … and here’s what you don’t know and need to.
Capt. Carlos Espinosa, Orange County Sheriff’s Office, shared the following: “Everyone reading this should be concerned with the drug crisis even if it’s not in their own family. Every citizen’s quality of life is affected by drugs. For example, drug addiction and mental illness contribute significantly to homelessness. Crime – prostitution, auto burglaries for example – are largely driven by drug addiction. The user doesn’t want to hurt you; their intent is to get money for drugs. And public restrooms– at the park, the beach, etc. – are often a haven of drug activity. This is a huge safety issue for you and your family. It benefits ‘us’ to help ‘them’ because we’re all connected.”
“The reader should be very aware that central Florida is having a huge drug crisis, most significantly heroin. In Orange County this year, the number of drug overdoses increased significantly from last year, and the rate of death from overdoses almost doubled, as compared with last year. Drug dealers are adding fentanyl, a very powerful opiate, to MANY DRUGS, including cocaine and marijuana. Most of our losses can be attributed to fentanyl laced products.”
As the mother of a heroin user, I have more experience and knowledge of opiate addiction that I could have ever wanted. I can say with utter confidence that drugs are not prejudice … they don’t care where you live, how much money you have, what kind of a student you are, your race/color/creed. DRUGS ARE AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY KIDNAPPER.
I want you to be aware of some things to watch for/ RED FLAGS for opiate abuse within your home and family:
While the opiate user is high: Nodding off, lethargic, sleeping A LOT, Pinpoint pupils, non-responsive to light changes and “Itchy-scratchy” skin.
*Please go to my website for a comprehensive list of warning signs/Red Flags; recent media items that are educational and informational.
Please watch this paper for the ongoing series on drug education, awareness, and resources – RECOVERY CORNER.
THANK YOU! MARY MARCUCCIO, FAMILY CONSULTANT marysbottomline@gmail.com
NAR-ANON (Parent/Family Support) www.Nar-anon.org 888-947-8885
AL-ANON (Parent/Family Support) www.Al-anon.org 888-425-2666
FAMILIES ANONYMOUS (Parent/Family Support) www.familiesanonymous.org
Parent/Family Support Groups – in U.S. www.supportgroupproject.org
FIGHTING THE OPIATE CRISIS ONE FAMILY AT A TIME
This article was originally written and featured on scinthenews.com 3/7/18
By Karah Morrison, Managing Editor
Let’s be realistic, drug addiction is a national epidemic. Thousands of people deal with drug addiction every day, whether it is your family member, your co-worker, your neighbor, your coach, etc., drug addiction affects us all. There are an abundant amount of resources available to addicts struggling with substance abuse in order to help them get on the right track. On the other hand, there are less resources available for the families that are impacted. That is where Mary Marcuccio comes in!
Mary Marcuccio, originally of Connecticut, has spent the last 11 years as a Family Consultant. As a consultant, her work is focused around educating, supporting and finding resources for families with a loved one suffering from substance abuse. Although currently living in Florida, her work is nationwide.
Mary’s passion for helping struggling families arose through her own experience. Mary was like many of us, unaware of what was occurring in our own homes. In a recent interview, Mary shared that she had a loved one abusing drugs. She told me that she kept having to buy new spoons every so often. She kept questioning herself as to where the spoons were going. Was she losing her mind? No. Little did she know that spoons were paraphernalia in i.v. heroin use. This is where the importance of being educated on red flags would have helped her know that there was a problem sooner.
Not only does Mary help families herself, she also connects families together. Connecting families together with either a similar history or a similar issue, creates a stronger support system for all. Mary will place who she calls “Parents of Crisis” with one another, which simply means parents/families who have a loved one dealing with a similar history of substance abuse. She will also place “Parents of Loss” together, who are mostly parents that have unfortunately lost their child to substance abuse.
There is an enormous amount of families who believe substance abuse could never affect them. Not in their community, not in their house, not in their family and definitely not their child. This is not the case, as the main opiate users of today are white males in between the ages of 18 and 25 that are in suburban or rural communities. “Your good kid can end up being involved with drugs because drug use is not about good or bad people … your good, smart kid could make a decision to try something one time and be hooked”, voiced Mary.
Countless families believe that it is their responsibility to fix their child or their loved one. “Although our job as a family is for us to change by creating a new foundation, it is the drug user’s responsibility to change themselves”, Mary stated. Mary expressed to me that one of the greatest gifts a family member could give their struggling loved one is the gift of pain, because PAIN COMES BEFORE CHANGE. “The user needs to experience enough pain to consider making a change for themselves”, stated Mary. Many people know this as the drug user hitting “rock bottom”; however, Mary believes the drug user must hit their own “personal bottom”. Each drug user’s “personal bottom” is different. What it will take for one person to get clean and sober is very different than another.
She explained this by using her own story as an example, “My son has been hungry, has eaten out of the garbage, has been sad, lonely, homeless, has slept on park benches, has been in and out of prison, beaten, tortured and kidnapped and has yet to hit his personal bottom.” She then gave me an example of another individual whom she worked with that went into detox and treatment once and as of today is 9 years clean and sober.
While speaking with Mary, she revealed to me that her work originally focused on opiate addiction, however over time has increased to include all substances. “Due to Florida having been the pill capital of the country, the State and Federal government started shutting down the pill mills, which led to an increase in heroin use. The majority of people who were addicted to pills have now become addicted to heroin”, noted Mary. “Heroin is the cheapest drug that your loved one can get their hands on, being $3-$7 on average for a bag, however the quality will differ by region … New England has the highest quality being 80%-90% pure”, pointed out Mary. She also proclaimed that when a drug user purchases heroin or cocaine (most opiate users will also use cocaine as a stimulate) that it is like playing Russian Roulette, you never know what is inside the bag, as Fentanyl is becoming increasingly popular to lace these drugs with.
Mary went on to explain her recommended treatment process for the drug user. Ideally one would go to detox for 5-7 days, if their substance of choice was either opiates or alcohol, as it is not considered medically necessary for most other substances. After detox comes an inpatient, residential treatment program for 28 days. This is typically followed by sober living, counseling, NA/AA meetings and sometimes medication. This will help the drug user change their environment, including the people and places around them. Professionals will also be able to assist in guiding and giving the drug user a new tool box, which will include handling stress, triggers and learning new coping skills. Mary also explained that different medications are used for opiates and alcohol. “In my private business I would suggest Vivitrol, a non-abuseable and controllable shot given once a month, acts as an opiate blocker and when taken for 12 to 18 months consecutively helps heal the brain, reduces physical cravings and has a greater success rate”, stated Mary. She mentions recovery is both physical and psychological. It is important to note that Mary is not a licensed therapist or doctor but is an experienced consultant.
On average, Mary assists 100 families a year and encourages everyone to become more educated due to drugs becoming easier and easier to find. “Heroin is only one away, your high-schooler is one phone call, one text message, one Facebook message away from getting heroin. You, the reader, are statistically one away from a drug user…could be someone in your family, it could be your co-worker, the person you sit next to at church, the employee who bags your groceries at the supermarket, everyone is one away”, voiced Mary. During the latest interview, Mary asked me two questions: “Do you know what it means when someone is nodding off, sleepy, lethargic and have pin-point pupils? Do you know what it means when someone is volatile, bouncing off the walls, is acting manic and has dilated pupils?” Like most people, I have to admit “No.” The answer to the first question is that the person is most likely on opiates, typically prescription pain pills or heroin. The answer to the second question is that the person is most likely on cocaine or crack, stimulants. “If you can’t answer these questions, you have homework to do; start your research, go on the internet, look up red flags and research different drugs”, declared Mary. She also shared with me that finding pens that are taken apart, cut up straws, having money or personal items missing, as well as your loved one having itchy skin, wearing sunglasses inside and pawning valuables, are red flags for opiate abuse.
An in-depth look at red flags can be found on Mary’s website www.marysbottomline.com
Mary is available to families and facilities for consultation and education. She can be reached at email: marysbottomline@gmail.com
Look for RECOVERY CORNER, in our upcoming issues which will tackle substance abuse issues as well as resources.
Community Conversation About Drug Addiction
Youth Services hosts “Community Conversation” about Drug Addiction
Mary Marcuccio, of My Bottom Line, LLC, demonstrates her passion to parents while speaking at the ‘Community Conversation’ on addiction.
By Danny Atkinson Reminder News. Colchester Edition. MARCH, 2015
On the evening of Wednesday, March 25, parents and students in grades 6-12 gathered at Bacon Academy to attend separate presentations about drug addiction as part of the Community Conversations series. The event, which was sponsored by the Colchester Youth Services’ Youth FIRST Coalition and Colchester Public Schools, attracted a crowd of roughly 150.
Parents attended a presentation by Mary Marcuccio, the founder and CEO of My Bottom Line, LLC, an organization that helps parents deal with young adults who are addicted to opiates. Marcuccio shared her family’s story and provided a comprehensive education about opiates.
Marcuccio began her presentation by discussing her family’s experience of having a son addicted to opiates for many years. Her son began using marijuana in middle school and began using heroin at the age of 15. Marcuccio said that it took her and her husband time to realize the extent of her son’s drug use.
“We set out to do the best we could and felt that our son would be protected from the danger of drugs as a result,” she said. “As parents, we mistakenly assume that there is a bubble around our communities.”
Marcuccio focused on the dangers of opiate addiction and what parents can do to help protect their children from it. She spoke about the ways in which adolescents become involved in using opiates, saying that it is easy for them to gain access to prescription pills, especially at what she called “pill parties.” Eventually, users can graduate to heroin, which is highly affordable.
Marcuccio said that parents must enforce boundaries for their children and avoid enabling them. Boundaries she suggested setting included guaranteeing activities they participate in are safe and structured, and not allowing them to have household access to prescription pills.
“You need to make sure your family environment is strong,” she said. “You have to give your children a reason to say no.”
Marcuccio discussed the warning signs parents should look for with opiates use, all of which she saw with her son. These include pinpoint and fixed pupils, sluggishness, and violent mood swings. She said that adolescent brains are very susceptible to opiates and that heroin gives them “the most contented feeling they’ll have in this world.” As a result, withdrawal can be extremely painful.
“Drugs and addiction puts a permanent wrinkle in the fabric of relationships,” Marcuccio said.
Throughout the presentation, Marcuccio constantly emphasized the importance of parents being educated and taking action. “You cannot love your child away from drugs. You need to make the community an unwelcome place for them,” she said.
“Until hearing her tonight, I had no idea that some of the effects of opiates happen to that degree,” said parent Laura Nass. “This presentation absolutely inspired me to get involved with fighting opiates.”
While parents listened to Marcuccio, students attended a presentation by Greg P. He spoke about his experience with alcohol and drug addiction at a young age and his battle to become and stay sober. Students said that they enjoyed the presentation and found his story relatable.
“They were able to hear the story of someone coming from a similar background and got a perspective about what life can be like if you start using drugs and alcohol at a young age,” Greg said. “They seemed very interested and receptive.”
Jennifer Martino, who leads the Youth FIRST Coalition, thought the event was important for the community. “I felt like this was a great opportunity to start a conversation. Both speakers did a great job,” she said. “Greg’s story hit home for the kids, and it was very empowering for the parents to hear someone discuss the warning signs of opiate addiction. It’s a message unlike any other.”
read the original article posted on the Hartford Courant website
Substance Abuse Focus: Early Warning Signs.
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| NBC CONNECTICUT – TV FEBRUARY 2014 |
| Mix of Heroin and Fentanyl Blamed for Overdose Deaths | NBC Connecticut* |
NBC CONNECTICUT – TV MARCH 2014
http://www.nbcconnecticut.com/investigations/248936351.html
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